No Pain, No Game

on having a badly broken leg and being the physically healthiest person in the house
22/12/2019. total words: 424

no pain, no game. five places my future is fractured. all i’m supposed to do is rest and heal. but i see my mother limp from the agony in her back that all too young i know, all too well. monday marked the day my father loses his right arm for four months. the time doesn’t match up and i can’t ask my brother to do more than he’s doing. someone has to step up. five fractures in my future says i can’t. no pain, no game, and this was the price we paid for freedom.
i stagger up to the challenge and i tell myself to be brave. braver than i have ever been. i wake in this silver, too too real world and i tell myself to stop calling it silver, to see it in all its mundane agony, but if it’s not silver and i’m not what the rapture says i am then oh, what’s the point of waking up if i can’t still daydream? be brave. no pain, no game.
i leave the ibuprofen in my room. my mother limps from the agony and my brother pulls eighty hour weeks and still does not seem to love us. step up, stagger up to the challenge. keep your daydreams like duct tape and titanium to a badly broken leg. tell your mother to go sit down and do the chores you know you’ll pay for later, the chores you haven’t done in three months. can you?
silver reality collides with a golden fantasy you’ve escaped to for less reason. can you keep yourself tethered to the silver for this? your father needs a constant hand and he was the foundation of your world. your mother needs legs that work, so stagger up the stairs for her. your brother needs the patience you never had for him, so breathe a little harder, and be kinder than he is.
they need more than you can give, yes, more than anyone has any right to ask of you. but it still needs to be paid and you’re the only one left not deep enough in debt. so tape up the fractures in your future with a golden fantasy snatched in only moments.
stagger up to the challenge. no pain, no game, and how you love to play. play silver, not golden, breathe a little deeper, a little harder. this is the price you pay for kindness.
be brave, be kind, because this world is not. this is only the price you pay for love.