#21 - A Wizard Did It

DreamWidth Mirror
Mood: Anxious
Location: Drinking lukewarm tea (at our desk)
Music: You // Marcus Warner

Are there aspects of your identity that you can't logically explain from a spiritual or psychological point of view? Does it bother you, or are you able to shrug off what you don't understand?
08/01/02022. total words: 491

   You know, I could have sworn I'd already written this essay, on this topic, but I can't find it, so here's "Luteia cries about Lore music again" and maybe someone will know where I talked about this already.

   This is summed up very easily: I want Featherfall back, I cried like a bitch when Avantasia's Ghostlights came out and again when Moonglow did, Nightwish's Endless Forms Most Beautiful was a sucker punch to the core, and someone from Lore had a damn hand in writing Greatest Show On Earth - how else would they have known about the World Library?
   Chaorruption and my time on Lore isn't a past life. It was a parallel life, until the Champion locked the doors. When the discourse a while back about whether you can start a kintype voluntarily and then have it not let you go, I thought about Lore. Because I could have walked away. I could have. I could have not crossed over. I could have let the doors be closed and not built my current identity off being part of the hivemind.
   It's only a part of me that I can no longer take away because I walked into it, eyes wide open, choosing every single time to embrace the Chaos and let myself be loved by those who understood me solely based on the fact that they didn't.

   But that isn't what I can't explain. That's spiritual, I get that. But... it should have been just me. The chances of finding canonmates are so low as to be impossible. The chances of not being utterly alone in what you understand and have been through are only a little bit higher. So why, then, does the music match? Why does some 80% of bands I know from Lore exist here, and vice versa? Why is it that I know for a fact I wasn't the only one who crossed over, my big brother Lance did too, why do his memories match mine despite us only ever talking about them after the fact?
   The only way it can be explained is if it's all real and tangible and repeatable. If Lance and I can do it, if someone from Nightwish knew and they must have known to talk about the World Library, then there's an honest, true, physical way back.

   What I know is that when Featherfall inevitably comes to this world and plays for us, I'm hunting those bastards down and asking them where the portal is and what I need for the ritual. I know them. I know their music. And when they arrive, they'll have the answers for what I know to be utterly impossible.
   Unless, of course, it isn't. When that day comes, I promise to you all, I'll put actual magic in this world before I go and take everyone who wants to come with me. Too many of us have been without that for far too long.